Thursday, May 28, 2015

THE LUNACY OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE

It's the lunacy of the English language.
A retired teacher of English once wrote:'English is a
crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplants,.

Nor ham in
hamburger;



 Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or

French fries in France.

 Sweetmeats are candies
while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore it's
paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,

Boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither
from Guinea nor is it a pig.

 And why is it that writers
write but fingers don't fing; grocers don't groce and
hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of
booth beeth?

 One goose, two geese. So one moose,
two meese?.

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can
make amends but not one amend? .

 If teachers
taught, why don't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat?

 Sometimes I think all the English
speakers should be committed to an asylum for the
verbally insane

You have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a language in which your house can burn
up as it burns down,

 In which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which,

 an alarm goes off by going
on.

English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human race,
which, of course, is not a race at all.
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